Hard Days

I knew that when I chose to come to Bolivia that I would be giving up certain things, to gain other experiences, and I thought I could do it. I also understood that it would not always be easy. This has been one of those weeks that made me realize that I’m not as tough as I thought I was, but on the other hand, I made it. I have always known that I thrive on being busy and having excitement in my life. I’m not one to sit and read a book for hours on end. I’m not the kind of person that watches TV either. In fact I haven’t watched TV in 4 months. I’ve see 3 movies on Netflix and have gone to 4 movies here in Bolivia. I’m happiest filling my life with people and activities. I remember before I came here talking with my sisters about how maybe I would learn to relax and spend quiet time reading. It’s just not my personality. So, this past weekend, when there wasn’t much going on, our weekend hike was cancelled, and I knew there were family activities going on at home, I had a bit of a meltdown. Don’t get worried! I’m fine now, and I made it through. It was a learning experience and one that I will remember next time I have these feelings. I Can Do Hard Things.
It was good to go through this weekend because I’m in the process of making a decision to stay in Bolivia for another year, or go home. I realize that I told them I would give them two years, but things change. The school is not what I was told it would be, and while I really love the kids I teach, they are very difficult to manage. It is totally different working with kids that come from very rich backgrounds and some of them just don’t care! How do you make someone care about school work?
Today one student was rolling his eyes at me, and I told him that someday he will have a boss and can’t do that, and he told me, in a snotty tone, that he will never have a boss and that his parents will give him a business and he will be the boss. My teaching partner agreed with him and said it’s true. His parents will give him a business and he will have it made. He later knocked over a chair on a girl’s leg and refused to apologize. Later he kicked the aide. The aide that the parents are paying to “babysit” him, so he can stay in the school. And it goes on like that…..

The weekend ended up being great. I caught a movie with a friend, and spent some great time with my favorite Bolivian family, so I made it.

Meanwhile one teacher up and quit yesterday. I hear another isn’t coming back after Christmas. And several teachers aren’t coming back next year, for one reason or another.

I’ve been making a list of pros and cons of staying another year or leaving and it’s a tough decision, but one I won’t make until after the holidays.

Loved chatting with family over the weekend. Missed the Thanksgiving dinner they had early, but looking forward to Thanksgiving in La Paz. It will be good I’m sure.